


Voices

by Finerafin



Series: Angst War [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death, RvB Angst War, set shortly after North's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 21:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finerafin/pseuds/Finerafin
Summary: North was dead! Why did he keep coming back?





	Voices

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Franzi who beta'd this <3  
> As always English is not my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to tell me

"What I don't get is the motion tracker. No one can get by one of those while they're active. You sure you don't have anything in your logs? ... South. You with me? South!"

South startled out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"I need you to concentrate, okay? I know he was your brother, but the sooner I can piece together what happened the sooner we can track this guy."

South sighed internally. Why did it have to be Wash? He was terribly annoying. "Right, uh, sorry."

"It's okay. Now to your logs. Nothing?"

"No, not even a ping."

"And you didn't hear anything."

Noisy fuck.

"I heard him- heard him scream. I came around the corner and then ... Nothing." That was a lie but she didn't need to tell him. She didn't want to relive this memory again.

"You mean you didn't see the attacker?"

Couldn't he just leave her alone?

"No, I mean nothing. I heard him scream, I headed towards him, and then suddenly you're standing over me asking me if I'm alright and telling me my brother is dead." _Liar_ , North's voice in her head told her and she gritted her teeth. Yes, the attacker had hit her on the back of her head and she had fallen to the floor, her vision swimming, her head pounding, but she had fought against the unconsciousness. She had heard North scream her name, trying to get to her, had heard the shot, his body hitting the floor and then probably the worst - Theta, calling out for North and, when he didn't respond, calling for her for help. Theta's scream when the attacker took them still echoed in her head - she had never heard someone sounding so afraid, so hurt. And then she only remembered blackness.

"... And they got me here stat." That idiot had kept talking while she was lost in her thoughts and she had no idea what he just said. So she just responded with a yeah.

"Level one, South. Something you wanna tell me?" Oh, he was talking about Theta.

"I'm sure you already know."

"I need you to confirm it." Goddamnit.

"He still had Theta."

"Well, I didn't find Theta on him, South. Did you take it?"

"No I don't have them." She wished she had. She wished she had been able to protect North, to protect Theta, then she wouldn't be in this situation. _But you weren't_. Why couldn't the voice in her head shut up? And why did it have to sound so much like North?

"Do you still have yours?"

Couldn't the fucker shut up?!

 

When she finally got him to leave her alone, even if it was just for a minute, she crouched down beside her brother.

"I'm so sorry North." She muttered, her voice cracking at the end. No, she wouldn't cry, not with Wash here.

_You couldn't protect them!_ North's voice in her head spit at her. _You're useless. That's why I didn't like you anymore. You know how important Theta was to me._

"Shut up," South muttered. She knew North would never say that but the little voice in her head kept telling her those things, even when North had been alive. There was a reason why she had chosen to let him take the more dangerous route, but - she had thought Theta would protect him. They always had been able to - until now.

"Times up. I'm sorry." God, that fucker was back already?

"I always thought being a twin was a hard thing. Everyone always finds a way to put you together. It's like you're not considered two people. Even when we were kids, our parents dressed us alike, and when we joined up and got sent to the program, they stuck us together. People thought we were special somehow I suppose. I used to hate that. All I ever wanted was to have my own life. And here I am now, just wondering how I'm gonna live without him." Yeah, good thing, South. Get emotional now.

"Yeah, I wouldn't go worrying about that if I were you."

And then he "shot" her.

 

She didn't really understand what was going on but after she had finally got rid of him and found a safe place, she collapsed. Burying her head in her hands she tried not to start crying. She was better than that, she was-

_No, you're not._

"Shut up!" South yelled and threw her helmet against the wall. She wanted the voice to go away. North was dead! Why did he keep coming back and reminding her that she wasn't good enough.

_That you never could live up to their expectations? That you always were worse than me?_ His voice mocked.

"I told you to shut up!" Thankfully she was alone and nobody would notice her breakdown. Aggressively, South paced in the small room. "Why can't you shut up for a minute! I tried to protect you and I never wanted to let something happen to them!"

_But you couldn't. Because you were always weak. Weaker than me. They just kept you in the project out of pity._

"Is there a problem, Agent South?"

"Shut up, Delta!"

_You rescued him but not Theta? How could you leave him?!_

"It was too strong, okay? I couldn't risk my life for them - I didn't even know if he has it or how to get it back! Just leave me alone!"

"Agent South, do you need-"

"No. Log off!"

Delta didn't say a word when he vanished with a flicker and South took a deep breath to calm down.

You just took him to finally have an AI, too. You don't even care about him, you-

The voice shut up when her fist connected with the wall, leaving a dent. Despite wearing armor, it hurt like hell and South sank to the floor, exhausted. At least the voice was gone but she knew that it wouldn't last for long. It never did.

South leaned against the wall, exhaustion crashing over her. She drew her legs to her chest resting her chin on her knees.

For a few minutes it was quiet and South was grateful for it, but then the voice began to whisper again. South tensed when suddenly something pushed in the foreground, drowning out the whisper and confusing her at first. It were numbers, statistics, probabilities. Oh, right. Delta.

She no idea what to do with it until Delta said: "statistically speaking, everything that ... Voice said is wrong and Agent North would never say that."

South couldn't even say something before Delta withdrew again, going back to running calculations  but always keeping them present enough to distract her. She snorted and tried to ignore it, but when she again imagined to see a purple flicker in the corner she turned her attention back to the probability of dying in a pelican crash and maybe Delta was right. And maybe it was okay. She had an AI now. She could prove that she was good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr, I'm [finerafin](https://finerafin.tumblr.com/)


End file.
